Should I text him first? Nope, I’ll wait for him to text me…actually fuck him, I don’t even like him.
Oh yay, he just texted! Now, let me wait an hour to reply so I don’t seem too available.
The dating game is such a dog eat dog world. When did it become such a cat and mouse game for "adults"? Why are people accused of being "obsessive" or "clingy" when they might just sincerely be interested?
The ugly truth is if someone is attracted to you enough, male or female, those thoughts of "clinginess" and "overbearing" will be dismissed. If Justin Timberlake was texting me 24/7 willing to go on a second date with me, I would not think that he's a psycho at all. However, if it were some guy who I just didn't have chemistry with and I wasn't physically attracted to at all, I might deem him "thirsty". As sad as it sounds, think about it. It's true.
Since communication these days has basically become nonexistent thanks to texting and social media, it's extremely easy to just "ghost" someone...AKA ignore them or just drop off the face of the earth.
He didn't answer my text..but there he is on Facebook, posting statuses! So he is in fact alive.
Even though the cowardly approach can be taken by sending an easy "I'm just not that into you, I'm sorry" text, some people don't even have the decency to do that. Most of us are guilty of this. It's easier to just ignore the person than deal with the possible frustration or feelings of rejection that you've caused. This is becoming the norm for singles in their 20s. You can't help but to feel sorry for our future generations...our poor daughters will be getting break up texts/tweets!
What ever happened to an old fashioned phone call? Most women find a phone call refreshing as opposed to a text. It not only shows genuine interest, but also there tends to be less misunderstandings as far as communication goes if you’re talking on the phone. Texts can often get misconstrued and you find yourself screen shooting texts to your friends asking, “how would you take this text?” “Do you think they meant it like this?”
So what's the solution? We are all guilty of "ghosting" people..because let's face it-the truth hurts! I'd rather just "forget" to answer a text than reply with an honest "I'm sorry, you just don't do it for me". What's the worst that could happen? At least we wouldn't have to-gasp!-tell them to their face! That would be far too much communication. By continuing to do these things we are technically breeding cowards. Well okay maybe not cowards, but people who are going to avoid confrontation at all costs in fear of rejection.
I've talked to slightly older singles out there, and they've admitted to simply letting the person they're dating that the chemistry simply wasn't there. Let's face it, if they aren't responding, we can all take a hint. Come on, you've read or seen He's Just Not That Into You! The fact of the matter is this--whether we like it or not, no matter if we have all the great qualities we think a partner should possess, if the person isn't interested, there's nothing a person can do to change that. Whether the timing is wrong, or they aren't on the same page as you, all you need to know is that they aren't the Jay-Z to your Beyonce and keep it trucking!
-T
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